I hadn’t given much thought to the little pink building on Morrison. Oh sure, I’ve driven by it enough times and knew it was a strip club, but the location reminds me of too many other little holes-in-the-wall that I’d just as soon avoid. But the Willamette Week article convinced me I needed to check the place out. Was there really a Christian girl working in there? If so, I knew my friend the Catalyst would be interested. Was there really a fiery redhead working there? I knew I’d need to know. So it was off to Sassy’s.
The original plan was to hit the place immediately after work on Saturday night but that was quickly torpedoed as I pulled into the parking lot. The place was crawling with 20-something hipsters who would have been equally happy at the Doug Fir or maybe the new Morrison Hotel down the street. My work “uniform” of gym shorts and t-shirt wasn’t going to work. I’ve been known to wander into the Dolphin while similarly dressed down, but that had a lot to do with my comfort level in there. No matter what I found inside Sassy’s, I could tell ultra-casual wasn’t going to work.
Upon my return, I found the parking lot full and a stretch Hummer out front blocking one traffic lane. The place was absolutely jumping. I finally found a parking spot over on 9th and wandered toward the door. A guy was talking on his cell phone, telling his buddy how Chad was making it rain inside.
“He must have thrown $20 at her!”
Idiot.
After one unsuccessful attempt along Morrison, I finally found the door tucked around the corner. Immediately I was greeted with a chain across the entrance. It acted as a velvet rope only much classier. It was unattended. Was the place full? Was I at the wrong spot? All I could see was a couple of pool tables manned by guys out of a beer commercial. And the music was straight out of 1986.
After a moment a guy with a full Maori facial tattoo came by to man the chain. I reached for my wallet to show ID or pay the cover but all he did was give me a quick once-over and let me through. Whaaa? Saturday night and there’s no cover? I’ve no idea how that works, but I’m all for it.
I followed the music around the corner and headed for the bar. There were two stages set on either side of the room. One of them looked to have the VIP couches behind a red curtain. An interesting configuration. Each of the stages had a pole and the rails were packed with 20-something guys admiring the view, but apparently stingy with the singles. At least that’s what I saw.
I made my way back to the bar, passing a Vince Neil look-a-like who was manning the DJ booth. He was spinning 80s butt-rock records like they were coming back into style. Actually it was a pretty good mix. He even played one of my personal favorites of the genre, Ratt’s “Lay It Down”. Add to that ZZ Top’s “La Grange” and you get the idea.
As I mentioned, the place was packed. Not a chair to be found. After a couple of minutes standing near the bar, trying to get a beer, I finally gave up and wandered to a back corner. The bouncer’s stool made a good vantage point.
There were a half dozen girls working. You can get a look at a couple of them here (a fantastic website, no?). The only one I recognize from the photos is Malice, but the schedule says she wasn’t there. Like all things on-line though, I suspect your mileage will vary with the girls. They were all very good looking and definitely playful. I haven’t seen a line-up that from top-to-bottom put on excellent shows. Each worked the pole and the paying customers like pros, even though a couple of them clearly didn’t “belong”. Belonging is such a subjective term. To me there are girls you want to bring home to mom and those you wouldn’t dare. One reminded me of a former work crush who I would have gladly given anything I had to. *Sigh*
Alas, there was neither time nor room to talk with any of them. When not on stage, most were busy giving private dances or hanging with friends at one of the few tables in the place. Did I mention it was packed? Good.
I gotta say Sassy’s surprised me on several levels. The had the best mix of tunes outside the Club 205. The crowd was unlike what I expected. The civilian females, unlike say the Dolphin, seemed to actually want to be there rather than those who were just “giving their guy a present”. And the beer looked to be reasonably priced. But after an hour, the place didn’t look to be getting any emptier, so I decided to split. I tried to make my way over to the Magic Garden, but there was even less parking available there. I think I’ll have to check both places out on weeknights. That said, I’ll definitely be back to Sassy’s. That’s the kind of place that can certainly grow on a guy.
