Two great things that go great together.
For some reason, I’ve been looking forward to this NFL season. I’m into it like never before. I made sure to clear my schedule for tonight’s opener between the Colts and Saints. I was jazzed, I tell you! And ready to hit the town.
Jody’s has made a point the last year or so to advertise on 1080 The Fan, the local sports talk radio station. They’ve been telling me they’d be my NFL headquarters for the season and “the view” would be spectacular. Well, combine my already rock hard feelings for football with girls, and I’m totally there.
I made a quick pass by the place, out at 122nd and Glisan to see how the parking lot looked. Deserted would be a kind way to put it. It was only about 5:45 and all, but c’mon. Football! So I doubled back and parked out front. As I mentioned last night, sometimes the parking lot can be deceiving.
It wasn’t. I walked in to find a lonely dancer working the center stage and one guy in the back playing video poker. That was it. I made my way back to the bar to order my customary Coors Light. Took a quick look at a couple of warming trays letting off some steam. $2 all-you-can-eat tacos. Classy.
I turned to find a seat with a good view of all the screens. The Indianapolis and New Orleans wasn’t the only game in town tonight. The Oregon State Beavers were on ESPN in a Thursday night game. I figured I would centrally locate myself to watch both games while keeping an eye on the stage. The dream would finally come true.
I grabbed my seat and started looking for a game. From left to right, the TVs showed “King Of The Hill”, the TV Guide Channel, “Law and Order”, tennis, and finally the OSU game. I couldn’t believe it. There are signs everywhere announcing football season was here, and I got stuck watching Hank Hill. I suppose I could have said something to the help, but they looked less than happy to be there themselves.
So I sat at my table and did my best to avoid making eye contact with any of the dancers. The day shift was on and they were a rough bunch of phat girls. They did their best, but even they got bored a few seconds into their sets. I bet it’s hard to get up for an empty room. There seemed to be a shift change going on right about 6 or a little after. A couple of the girls who’d been on stage headed out the door in their street clothes and a few others were coming in. I didn’t recognize any of them from the website.
A few other guys staggered in, but they seemed more interested in the tacos than the girls. None made any attempt to put the NFL game on. At halftime of the Beavers game. OSU was down 10-3.
I made my way down 102nd to Club 205. Surely they’d be a little more on the ball. I had a great time the last time I was in there and besides, I wanted to check out the menu.
The parking lot was pretty full, which I’m beginning to expect from the 205. Walking in, I could tell I’d come to the right place. I grabbed a table, looked up, and saw two screens. One had the Colts and Saints, the other had the Beavs. And just off to my right, a tight little blonde taking her clothes off. Honey, I’m home.
I ordered the mushroom cheeseburger and a beer and commenced watching Peyton Manning, my fantasy quarterback this year, dismantle the Saints. It was a thing of beauty. After a few minutes, my meal showed up. The burger was monsterous. The bun fresh, the beef patty the 1/2 pound that was advertised. A few pickles on the side and crinkle cut fries, and you’ve got a meal. And I think it was only $4.95. Not even Vegas can beat that deal. I’ll definitely be back the next time I’m looking for cheap eats.
But that’s not why we really go to strip clubs, is it? No. We go for the girls. They had six working tonight. Not bad for 7:00 on a weeknight. All but one were blonde. And most were tight little hardbodies. They’re not generally my type, but when that’s all that’s on the menu, it’s not too shabby. They’re all cute and friendly. But not overbearing, if that makes any sense. It drives me insane, for example, when a girl starts incorporating my beer or my hat into her routine. Seriously. Knock it off.
I sat at the center stage for the most part. As I said, each of the girls was friendly and took a lot of time with each guy. Giving us all the angles and a smile. They’re particularly fond of crawling on the tables, so be aware and watch your beer!
After one rotation through the girls, I finally tired of watching my Beavers get pounded and headed for the door. I thought very briefly about heading west and seeing if Jewel was working tonight (or perhaps Raquel! oh Raquel!) but thought better of it. There’ll be other nights.