I meant to write this up some time back, but I’ve never sat down to do it. Well, better late than never.
Back in May I visited one of my favorite places in Southwest Portland. Had a good time, stayed late, got a few dances, chatted up the girls, yada yada yada. I texted one of the girls from the parking lot to inquire about another dancer. I thought she was cute and had never seen her before. Rather than tell me about the girl, the dancer tells me all about how the club had just fired their manager and things had become chaotic. Apparently the guy had done too good of a job of cleaning the place up and running off the drugs and the…uhhhh….professionals. Some of the girls, she said, were letting customers touch them during dances!
This, of course, is verbotin. When receiving a couch dance, one must leave their hands on the arm rest or the back of the couch. There is no in between. There’s usually a very large guy a few feet away to enforce this rule. So I don’t. And I figured, naively it turned out, that everyone else obeyed as well.
This new information sort of blew my mind. Again, I know…naive. While I’ve had a few opportunities with various dancers (I’ll never forget the girl I had a two-hour conversation with about Freddy Fender), I’ve never followed through. That’s another story.
Anyway, I couldn’t wait to test this new thing out. So in July, I visited another of my favorite establishments. It was a Sunday night, kind of slow. I took a seat away from the stage and waited for the girls to come around. Soon enough one did. A brunette. Probably mid-twenties. A couple tattoos. Stretch marks. But whatever. She was cute. And definitely forward. Soon enough she had me back on the couch.
I don’t want to get too graphic here, that’s not what this blog is about. Suffice it to say, she had her chest in my face almost immediately. After a few moments, her butt brushed up against my hand, which was on the back of the couch. So I gave her a squeeze, just to see what happened. Rather than reach up to move my hand away, she repositioned herself so I could slide my hand between her legs. Meanwhile, she kept one eye on the bouncer a few feet away while she started to rub my crotch.
I’m telling you, it was the weirdest thing ever! This wasn’t in a jack shack. This was an over-21 establishment. And here I was going all third base on a dancer. Weird!
So after $60 and a breathless sigh, we parted ways.
I’m definitely not going to make a habit of this. In fact, I don’t think I’ve had a dance since. I mean after that, where is there left to go? I mean I suppose I could become this guy (very NSFW), but I’ll leave that to someone else.
I know I’ve been through some fits and starts bringing this blog back from exile. I appreciate your patience. I have a few requests to check out some places around town and have a post I’ve been kicking around about the new Stars location in Tualatin. And I never did get around to telling you why the Hawthorne Strip was my favorite place this summer. No, that’s not where I got the dance in question.